Disney jokes for hokkien lang

This joke created at 2335 - 02/09/2013
at our home at Adelaide.

From our conversation about Disney turned into jokes because of knowing languages, we kind of destroy our lovely Disney.

By David, Frank, Lilian and Chen Ning (When semi-drunk)


Note: this may consist racist and jokes, don't read further if this upset you. 

The little mermaid

Frank: Ursula is half human and half taco right? (Japanese for octopus)
David: Then Ariel is half human and half Sashimi?

Frank: I think Ursula is fat taco and morgana is bony taco.

Lilian: .....and Sebastian, crab in japanese is "Kani no mi"
David: excuse me? Ka ni na ma?? (rude words in hokkien)




David: I think the name Mulan is suitable for her...
everyone: why?
David: because she the only Bo Lan in the army.. (speaking without thinking)

Lilian: (listening to "colour of the wine") explaining the cartoon
Frank: Pocahontas is a aboriginal (Orang Asli) right?

for some reason, me and Lilian burst out laughing............

My very own recipe: Moist hamburger with apples

I learned how to make burgers patties which is moist and great balance in flavors, compliment to one another. This is simple one of the best burger I tasted that I made myself, and I am sharing this to you all. Don't let me catch you selling my recipe guys haha.


Ingredient:

500g Minced (chicken/turkey)
2tbsp worcestershire Sauce
1/2 Apples (diced)
2 cloves of Garlic (diced)
1/4 big onion (diced)
1tbsp Thyme leaves
1/2tbsp  Rosemary leaves
2tbsp Olive oil
Optional: salt & pepper


Method:
1. Mixed it all together well
2. Shape it as a patties before cook it in a medium heat with additional olive oil, for about 5 min

each side.
3. Serve with burger breads or bread of your choices.

Adobo~ A Filipino cuisine

Adobo is a simple home Filipino cuisine that was taught by my dear filo friend, I am surprise that this amazing tasty meal is so simple to make, for me personally it is a perfect balance of flavours, sweet and sour. Simplicity is the best :)


Ingredient:

1kg       Meat (pork/chicken)
1cup     White Vinegar
1cup     Soy Sauce
1/2cup  Sugar
1          chopped onion
2tbsp    Olive oil (depends how much fats it is in the meat)
5          bay leaves

Optional
1          sprig of rosemary

Method:
1. Optional: to fried onion and olive oil first. Or just put it all together in a pot, cook in boiling point temperature and then for 30-40 minutes in medium low heat.

Note:

• Basically the liquid of vinegar and soy sauce suppose to be covered the meat or almost covered.
• Add in flour at the final stage, if you want it to be thicken in sauces. 

My Tagalog languages (Wikang Filipino)

I am learning~ I am learning please don't make fun of me. I just writing this down for my own references. haha



Pronunciation:

a b k d; a e i o u

Words:

Him/her = Sya
That/it   = yan
me,I = Ako, akin
you = Mo
we = kami
father = papa, tatay (tatai)
mother = mama, nanay (nani)
husband = asawa * asawa-ko (boyfriend-ko)
friend = kaibigan
buddy = barkada


No = Hin Di
Yes = O O/ O po
Really? = talaga
why? = Bakit
food = paka-in
drink = inumin
tasty = ma-sarap
Thank you = Selamat
Sorry = potawad
hate = Galit
Beautiful = maganda
cute/handsome = pogi/gwapo(M)/gwapa(F)
       *He is handsome = Siya-ay pogi/ pogi sya

My name is = Ako si "david"/ Ako po is "David"
What your name = Anong(what) pangalan(name) - mo
How are you = Kumusta ; Kumusta po (refer to "po" elder)
I am well = Mabuti naman ; mabuti po (refer to elder)
Good bye = Pa-alam

I love you = Mahal kita
Do you love me = Mahal mo ako
Please get.... = Pakikuha
Please do it... = Pakigawa
Do you like it = Gus to mobayan?
Do you like this = Gus to mo? (while holding on the item)
Do you hate him/her = Galit kaba sa-kanya (refering to)
Are you mad at me? = Galit kaba sa akin
I am well = mabuti; mabuti po (refer to "po" elder)

Simple Healthy Wrap~I think~~

This is one simple meal, under 3 minute and it is done. I used fritz, very South Australian haha, fritz is like a stick of ham, then you cut it yourself.

Ingredient:

sheets of tortilla (microwave for 20 second)
lettuces
fritz
cheddar cheese
mayonnaise
BBQ sauce
Coriander herbs

Method:
1. combine it, fold it and eat it.
2. In stomach

Note:
I don't put measurement because it is entirely up to the maker regarding the amount of ingredient, and of course anyone may adjust the ingredient above to their own liking.

Deep Fried Ice Cream with Coconut coating ( Don's Kitchen Recipe)

This recipe is created by Don Tan@Don's Kitchen Restaurant, formerly known as "Dragon Village", Don Tan have created many recipes, sauces and dishes himself alone, his passion for food is incomparable, because he has his own unique ways of experimenting food, and try it out. This Deep Fried Ice-Cream with coconut coating is one of his creation, with a touch of south-east Asia Malaysia, with coconut flake and bread crumbs.



Ingredient:
Vanilla Ice-cream ( You may use pre-made ice-cream to save time)
BreadCrumbs
Coconut Flake
Eggs

Method:
1.Combine breadcrumbs and Coconut flakes together, as a mixture.
2. Shape ice-cream into a ball, batter it with first layer of mixture and then beaten eggs, and again batter second layer with mixture.
3. Keep inside freezer for hours or long term keeping
4. When serving, fried it for 10-20 second in highest temperature and serve immediately.


Tips:

• Make sure you do this fast, ice-cream melt in time and with hand temperature.
• Don't be sad when u fail the first batch, it takes experiences to do it to perfection like Don Tan. 

My personal notes

This probably is the most confusing dessert to some people and some customers, I have heard occasionally that people have complained about this deep fried ice-cream such as, "my deep friend ice cream is not HOT". Well it may be hot for the first 20-50 seconds on the batter after when it is fried, however it is scientifically impossible to bend the law of physics to make an HOT ICE CREAM!? we aren't God. As a waiter before, I have even told this to my young customer who are kids (8-10 years old), they were laughing and said they are silly. Even the kids understand that it is impossible to make hot ice cream.

but if the customer insist that fried ice-cream suppose to be hot, just tell them you would microwave/heat it for them, return with it and say, "Hi.. I have heated it up for you, hope you like the HOT MELTED CREAM, as you asked it, enjoy!". Of course I don't do that when I work, I always happy to explain the cooking process to them, but if they still act like a jackass and giving you hard time and you know it is impossible to please them, then just ignore these primates and focus your attention to many other customers, cheers! :)

 

Green Tea Ice Cream

There is no much better ice-cream than homemade ice-cream, without artificial colouring, flavor, fats and others, just pure goodness :)

Green Tea Ice-Cream

Ingredient:

200g   Fresh Milk 

3        Egg Yolks

80g     Castor Sugar

10g     Green Tea Powder or Matcha Powder

100g   Heavy Cream(35%fats)

Black Seame Ice-Cream

Ingredient:

200g  Fresh Milk

3       Egg Yolks

60g    Castor Sugar

50g    Black Sesame Paste

100g   Heavy Cream(35%fats)

Method:

1. Heat milk in a saucepan to almost boiling point, then remove from heat and set aside

2. In a mixing bowl, beat egg yolks and sugar together until creamy pale yellow, if making green tea ice-cream, add in green tea powder and mix well.

3. Add warm milk and mix well with whisk, on a double boiler, keep whisking until it thickens to form custard. 

4. Transfer custard into a mixing bowl, place the bowl in a larger bowl half-filled with Iced water to cool. If making black sesame ice cream, add black sesame paste and mix well. Set aside to cool and put into refrigerator to be cold.

5. In another mixing bowl, whip the cream until stiff peak form, fold the cream into the custard gentle with a spatula.

2 optional way to freeze. 

One is put inside ice-cream maker machine

 OR the other is hand-technique, put into freezer and whisk it every 20-30min, if harden use a spatula to fold, repeat this process until it is almost completely harden. 

Recipe by Keiko Ishada

Tips: "Make sure the custard is cold when combine with cream, or else it gonna melt the cream con-density and the ice-cream would be harden as ice block when finished" by David Tan

Hand made technique by David Tan (ME!!!) :-p